Infinite Stratos 06: I See Paris, I See France, I See Charlotte’s Unde-PLOTS

Posted by Shin

A long overdue post to quite easily my favourite show this season! Colloquially known as Country Wars, Infinite Stratos serves as a non-homosexual version of Hetalia where the war is fought over the protagonist's penis. I personally like to call it Ichika and Jelly Factory, due to the near-infinite(get it???) supply of grape flavoured, green goo that oozes out of the pores from both male audience due to jealousy and female characters in the show for the same reason as they try to gain the upperhand in winning over Ichika, who is a lot denser than the metallic components used to construct his mecha.

While it fares out pretty much like your typical one-lucky-asshole-many-women-wants-his-cock show, to brush it off as mere harem tripe would be unfair, as it manages to break the monotony associated with the genre with decent mecha combat, though Infinite Stratos really needs to follow up with an actual foe soon. Above all else, the battles helps to quell the urge of wanting to punch the monitor every time Ichika exhibits his retarded main character tendencies, such as ignoring the advances of my favourite girl, who up to this point is still China.

However, now that his harem is more or less complete, I cannot help but feel that Rin has been relegated to the sidelines in favour of the admittedly superior France. There is also the fact she has leapfrogged ahead of the pack by virtue of being the damsel in distress to Ichika's White Knight. That said, I have to call out on the producers for playing obvious favourites by employing the services of Kana Hanazawa to voice Charlotte, who is able to drive the ℳℴℯ❤ of any character to unfathomable, nutbladder-decimating levels. Coupled with the fact that she is a reverse traps just sweetens the whole deal, since her boyish features appeals to me in ways a normal trap would.

Imagine yourself ploughing deep inside France as she tries to stifle her lust by going "But we're both boys!" Folks, I don't know about you, but those words would probably just make me pound her even harder while I yell Bon Appétit and show her the pleasures of being a woman. Unfortunately, the only reason why I have yet to jump ship is due to a taboo committed by the producers, or in this case the author, when it comes to designing a reverse trap. THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HAVE A DELICIOUS FLAT CHEST. To add insult to injury, they even gave her the best pair of breasts in the whole goddamn show! As a man bound to his principles, I simply cannot overlook this desecration of archetypes, regardless of how delicious she may be otherwise. Sorry, Charlotte, I guess you will not be eating my semen

Speaking of a cum-guzzler, I was a bit worried about our boy Ichika, since his oblivious nature can somewhat be misconstrued for homosexuality, as proven last week, when he blushed as formerly Charles thanked him. His over-enthusiasm in wanting to see Charles naked sent all sorts of wrong signals too. Well, all doubt has been cleared; Ichika is pretty much just playing the Natsuru card only to buy himself time to evaluate which route to go after. I am assured that he is at least straight because, after all, remember when he was limping as he exited the shower? I know that feel bro! I walk like that too when I have a massive erection rubbing against my pants. Ichika, I still fucking hate you, and I rightfully should(otherwise Infinite Stratos would have failed as a harem show), but if you settle down with any of the girls(except Germany, she is a huge cunt, and probably a lesbian), all will be forgiven. I doubt that would happen by the end (of this) season, but fingers crossed anyway.