My life is complete... once again.

Having relocated to a country where I can watch the latest anime first hand (at the expense of waiting a bit longer than the rest of the world for the latest Hollywood flicks, yes, Japan is that slow), so my first venture here as Atalude's unofficial "movie correspondent" is of course the much hyped movie of the Kyo-Ani franchise K-ON.

Naturally, if you're one sensitive to spoilers, this is your chance to look away if you've not seen the movie. Not that a slice-of-life show like K-ON has much to spoil about.

SPOILERS BELOW

First, as someone who has stayed in the UK for a few years, seeing Kyo-Ani recreate all the locations in London faithfully brings a nostalgic feeling for me. I even just visited London early this summer just before it got sacked by rioters.

Fortunately, by the time the girls arrived in London, there were no more rioting, so they're free to travel around as they please.

(If you want to stay in the same hotel as our lovely girls, try booking a room at the Hotel Ibis London Earls Court, from 80 pounds a night. )

The story takes place just a few months before the senior girls' graduation, and they reckoned since they've now got their passports (season 2 episode 27) they should go on a graduation trip overseas, eventually deciding on London, bringing Azu-nyan along for the ride.

That said, the scenery in London turned out to be just a sideshow in the grand scheme of things, as along the trip, the four older girls discuss what to give to Azu-nyan as a parting graduation gift. This is more or less the process of how they came up with the idea of the song Tenshi ni Fureta yo, played in the heartrending finale of Season 2. All in all, it was a nice touch as the TV series finale focused on Azu-nyan's sorrow of parting with her seniors while the movie focused on the senior girls' gratitude for their junior.

Tenshi ni Fureta yo

Click here to view the embedded video.

Other highlights:

- HTT suddenly playing Death Devil's style in the beginning gave me quite a shock. Thankfully, the girls were only syncing one of Sawa-chan's old records.

- Yui and Ui's parents finally make their anime appearance.

- Mugi, despite being more travelled than the other bandmembers, is surprisingly poor in her command of the English language. Even Mio and Azu-nyan understands more.

- Most of the foreign characters are voiced by foreign actors, though it sometimes sound like their English script has been slightly dumbed down to accommodate the girls (as well as movie's Japanese speaking audience). But it's bearable.

- Shameless product placements by Japan Airlines and the aforementioned Hotel Ibis.

- First day in London and the girls decide to have some sushi. Though they have no idea how posh Asian restaurants in London can be.

- The sushi bar manager mistook the girls as the Japanese band that was due to perform that night. With no choice byt to perform, Yui saw an Indian guy with a turban and decided to do Curry Nochi Rice. It turned out well.

- The band that was supposed to come was actually Love Crysis, the band of Ricchan's friend (Season 1 Episode 14), who was also in London doing gigs. They later invited HTT to do another gig in the outdoors, just outside the London Eye, opposite Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament. Though agreeing to do the gig means they had to rush to Heathrow in order to catch the plane home, thankfully Sawa-chan flew all the way over to help them out. (Though they declined to put on her specially designed ninja cosplays. )

- After going back to Japan, the girls decide to do yet another gig at school. Sawa-chan had to arrange for them to perform in the morning in order to avoid the Dean's wrath (due to her own personal experience with Death Devil). Though there wasn't much need to worry as the Dean rather enjoyed HTT's music.

The OP is performed by Yui as usual.
OP Unmei♪wa♪Endless!

Click here to view the embedded video.

As with most other EDs performed by Mio, the movie's ED is awesome. Though the girls' Victorian-like PV costumes also caught my attention:

Yui in one-piece dress with twin pigtails and big glasses = Love

ED Singing!

Click here to view the embedded video.

(Both the OP and ED are out now. The OST will be out later on December 21st)

K-ON is bigger than I thought in Japan, I went to a cinema in Shinjuku on Monday night to avoid the weekend crowd, but it was still packed. And the people there weren't just otakus, from couples to students to whole families. Gotta give it to Kyo-Ani for successfully marketing a supposedly moeblob show to the mainstream (at least in this country).

Yamanote line train with movie posters

Click here to view the embedded video.

Overall, the wait for this movie was certainly worth it if you're a fan of the show. While the movie was particularly smooth sailing in comparison to other "exciting" movies out there, if you're someone who enjoys "slice-of-life" comedy, this is something to enjoy for just over 2 hours. (Once again, since the whopping 2 1/2 hour length of Disappearance of Suzumiya Haruhi, Kyo-Ani has redefined the standards of how long an anime movie should be. )

(I'll have to remind myself to ask Shin to bump this article up once the DVD is out when more of you guys can watch it. Until then, I'll go back into blogging hibernation. )

In what could've turned out be one of the biggest blunders in anime business history, Kyoto Animation originally wanted K-ON! to be a serious slice of life anime , Naoko Yamada has revealed.

Speaking in an interview with Newtype, Kyoto Animation director Naoko Yamada revealed that the the team has wanted to create ℳℴℯ❤shit anime - without relying on plot, characterization, good animation and the like - for years, but senior management held them back.

"With Clannad, we were dead set against it being yet another good, deep anime," Yamada told Newtype, "but the board of executives really wanted it, the compromise sort of being that we'd get some funding in exchange for doing good, meaningful anime.

"We always wanted to do ℳℴℯ❤shit anime and the board of executives saw us as more of a good, deep animation studio," he said.

"And something I'll add to that, Kyoto Animation also did not want K-ON!. They thought working on a ℳℴℯ❤shit anime was risky and [thought], 'oh my god you can't do that, it's crazy!' They were doing market research to show us we were wrong the whole time," he said.

"We had to fight for everything," chimed in K-ON! project lead, Yukiko Horiguchi. "They wanted it to be drama. Again."

Of course the Kyoto Animation's risk in letting the K-ON! team go against the surveys paid off massively, and K-ON! ended up shifting over 41,000 copies.

"It just blows us away(knowing how retarded the otakus are). I'm still reeling from it," Yamada said of the success.

[Sauce]

I had a family once. My mother turned into an alcoholic who spent most of her days inside a bottle of sake. I knew it hurt my father, slowly watching her die like this. But he just couldn’t let her go. I could never understand why. But in any case, he raised my sister and I on his own.

Ever since I could remember, he always paid more attention to my younger sister Ui. I tried to be a loving, devoted daughter but he always only ever had eyes for her...

She was the more talented of us. In grades, in sports, in learning how to play music. Always top of the pile, me in her occluding shadow. And father always praised her on her accomplishments. Our home became a shrine of trophies and certificates, all proclaiming her greatness. All proclaiming her superiority over me.

She... she got EVERYTHING. Whenever her birthday came around, he would heap her with the finest of gifts and throw the most lavish of parties. No expense spared. On mine, I was lucky if someone bought a cakey~ from the supermarket.

Of course, she would put on a show that she was a good sister. When my friends from the Light Music Club were over she would make snacks for us all, despite father’s insistence that I didn’t deserve her help. On special occasions like holidays, she would help me with make-up and brush my hair. But her loving, almost motherly facade was paper thin. I could see the mocking superiority lurking within her eyes every time she commended me on my efforts. As if her being better than me was as ought to be. She reviled me, that I was related to her.

In time, I grew to hate my sister. It was just so easy for her! She never wanted anything, she would just mention it as a passing fancy and daddy would rush out to buy it for her. And her suitors? Her suitors came from the highest echelons of our school, bearing wondrous gifts to woo her. She would smile and have me take the latest treasure to her room. No guys ever came calling for me. Why have the handmaiden when the princess is right there, right?

One night when I was seventeen, I took a knife from the kitchen top and crossed the hallway to her room, quietly opening the door to her palace. My sister was asleep in her silk pyjamas, illuminated by the moonlight which flowed through the window and bathed her. The pyjamas were so much nicer than what I had been given by father offhandedly.

I remember trembling as I took a Domo-Kun pillow she had received as a gift from my homeroom’s Class Representative off its shelf. He had drooled over her for an hour before she politely bid him farewell from the sitting room. I had always liked him, but he didn’t even look at my side of the room. My anger returned.
Silent tears of rage streamed down my face and tapped noiselessly into the lush carpet as I stood next to her. Plush pillow in one hand, knife in the other. I trembled as I cried. She had been the cruelest of tyrants.

The next thing I remember, blood was everywhere. The pillow over her face with holes in it. Her silk pyjamas, flecked with black ruby droplets which gleamed in the gentle moonlight.
I never took the pillow from her face. I didn’t want to see. I just stood there and cried, knife in my hands.

I left home that night. Father never sent anyone after me. I know he could have stopped me at the train station, could have had the delivery company I signed on with in Osaka turn me over to the police.

But he never did.

And now you know my story. I hope that you still love me. Because I love you... and if something tragic happened to you in the next few days my love,

I would just be brokenhearted.

'...I really can't take it anymore...'

Suddenly, Mio's eyes snapped wide open. Her eyes appeared to be glazed over, like those of an anime character who had just been emotionally broken. She was no longer crying, although her cheeks were still glistening with tears. She just kept staring straight ahead at the wall with a tremendous amount of intensity. Ritsu realized what was going on, and pulled her hands away from the raven-haired girl.

"...M-Mio?" Ritsu asked nervously.

Slowly, Mio's lips curved upwards into a smile. Then, her mouth opened...and she began to laugh. It was a loud, hallow laugh. Not the kind of jovial, sweet laugh Mio usually had. Ritsu took two steps back, her face contorted with visible fright. As Mio began to push herself up to a stand, she continued to laugh like there was no tomorrow. There was a hint of madness in her eyes now.

Ritsu watched in total silence as Mio, still laughing, dragged her feet over to her bass guitar. Lifting the instrument into her hands, Mio then turned around and began heading over in Ritsu's direction. Ritsu didn't know what to do or say, but as the other girl drew closer, she knew that the best option was to run like hell. Mio finally stopped laughing, and as she raised her guitar high over her head, eyes wide and glossy, she said only two words:

"DIE, bitch."

Ritsu opened her mouth, most likely to scream, but Mio's guitar had already smashed against her face by then, shattering her nose and unhinging her jaw with a single hit. Blood gushed out of Ritsu's nostrils and drenched both her and Mio in the red liquid. Unlike earlier, when Mio was practically scared to death just from the thought of blood, didn't seem bothered by it at all. In fact, it simply made her look even more menacing. Ritsu attempted to scramble back to her feet, clutching her bloody stump of a nose, but Mio proceeded to bash her brains out with the bass guitar.

"DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!"

Mio continued to scream her demonic chant as her guitar connected with Ritsu's face over and over again. Blood, skin and shards of bone flew everywhere. Ritsu's body shook with violent spasms, and her skin slowly lost its color as more and more blood spilled out onto the wooden floor. There was nothing that could be done to stop it; Mio had snapped, and she wouldn't rest until the 'enemy' was dead.

In the middle of her macabre rampage, there was suddenly a loud crack, and Ritsu ceased to move. Some strange grayish fluid started to leak out of her ears.

Soaked with blood and completely out of breath, Mio carelessly tossed the now-shattered bass guitar off to the side. Ritsu's face now resembled more of a soup bowl filled with blood than anything else. Feeling rather proud of her accomplishment, Mio brought her hand up to her mouth and gingerly licked off the blood, reveling in its taste. She had finally eliminated the one person who had made her life a living hell...well, ONE of the people.

'Now I just need to find Sawako-sensei...' Mio thought to herself. She snatched up a nice, clean kitchen knife before dashing off into the hall, leaving a trail of blood behind her...

"......"

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Much like how Mio can no longer put up with Ritsu's asinine behavior, K-ON!'s melodrama is getting to me, but I guess it wouldn't matter anymore since it ends this week

I've been under flak for my infidelity last week, when I openly declared my feelings for Azusa. In retrospect, perhaps it was not so much as infatuation, but rather a sense of wanting to love her in a platonic manner akin to that of a little sister. This episode pretty much confirms that, as despite seeing Azusa clad in a rather fetching swimsuit, I was unperturbed. I did however feel contempt towards the countless number of lolicons who were looking forward to this episode only to satiate their lust. Yes, I'm talking to you. Why? Because sexual thoughts about pure, innocent Azusa are horrible.

For one, I would never imagine forcefully removing Azusa's swimsuit and licking her tiny body all over, as I nibble her neck and kiss her around the areola. Furthermore, only a heartless monster would think about her cute girlish mouth and tongue wrapped around a thick p0n0s slick with her saliva, pumping in and out of her mouth until it erupts, the cum more than her little throat can swallow.

The idea of thick viscous semen overflowing, dribbling down her chin over her flat chest, her tiny hands scooping it all up and watching her lick it off her fingertips is just horrible. You're all a bunch of sick perverts, thinking of spreading her smooth slender thighs, p0n0s poised at the entrance to her tight, smooth virginal vag00, and thrusting in deep as a whimper escapes her lips which are slippery with semen, while her small body shudders from having her cherry taken in one quick stroke.

I am disgusted at how you'd get even more excited as you lean over Azusa, listening to her quickening breath, her girlish moans and gasps while you hasten your strokes, her sweet pants warm and moist on your face and her flat chest, shiny with a sheen of fresh sweat, rising and falling rapidly to meet yours. Or even how her twintails bounce in a synchronized fashion with each thrust.

It is truly nasty how you'd run your hands all over Azusa's petite body while you violate her, feeling her nipples hardening against your tongue as you lick her chest, her neck and her armpits, savoring the scent of her skin and sweat while she trembles from the stimulation and as she reaches her climax, hearing her cry out softly as she has her first orgasm while that p0n0s is buried impossibly deep inside her, pulsing violently as an intense amount of hot cum spurts forth and floods through her freshly-deflowered vag00 for the first time, filling her womb only to spill out of her with a sickening squelch. And as you lie atop her flushed body, Azusa murmurs breathlessly, "You came so much inside of me, baka no oniichan~",  where she then dig her fingers into your back as she feels your p0n0s hardening inside her again.

You're all sick bastards. Azusa's too pure for anyone to imagine her in such a terrible situation, and anyone who does is evil, evil, evil.    

Hello Azu-nyan~

YES, YOU ARE THE BEST K-ON! GIRL EVER!

My prayers, they have been answered! Asuza is the embodiment of the Mio that I had always wanted from the very start; all the looks and all the characteristics, minus the boobies. And as an added bonus, they even shrunk Asuza down to size and gave her twin tails to boot! There's only so much damage my nutbladder can take.

Asuza's reactions towards the laid back nature of the club mirrors that of Mio, although she isn't nearly as hesistant as her senior when it comes to voicing her opinions. That said, her ease in being tamed, much like that of a cat which one can't help but want to cuddle and pet, gives her an edge over Mio by kicking the moe levels up a few notches without looking as forced (*´Д`)ﾊｧﾊｧ

Easily my favorite scene in this episode. Much like Yui, I found myself repeating this bait and switch(?) scene several times just to see Asuza's reaction, simply because it was so catatonically adorable. Before someone actually succumbs to death by moe, a study on the correlation between levels of cuteness and heightened  cardiac activity. HNNNNNNNNGHHH

"Ah, tengoku no okasama!" Tell me I was not the only person to have thought of Kanako during this scene. And to her credit, Sawako's a lot more efficient in fulfilling her cosplay fetishes than her homosexual counterpart could ever hope to be. Show ▼

I don't know what to make of Mio's monologue; Because the of the fact subservient females like her enjoyed being subjected to the sexual whims of others, I felt a tinge of guilt during this scene, since I thought I'd never love another girl on this show. I guess at the end of the day, I'm still an unrepentant, rotten lolicon. Feels good bad man.

While moe taking center stage yet again this episode, the odd injection of drama was awkward but not entirely unjustified.  It is these sort of moments where minor characters like Ritsu tend to shine, and for once, it has nothing to do with her giant forehead.

KYOTO ANIMATIONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nation, episode six of K-ON! was aired just recently, and in that very episode, which the rest of the world tuned in to witness as well, was to be a display of Mio's striped panties on stage. However, Kyoto Animation denied us from our rights to savor this miracle of the universe, by blatantly censoring and replacing the delightful imagery of a shimapan with that of a rice bowl:

You must admit however, that it was at least tastefully done.

But folks, there is of course more to this thinly veiled attempt at promoting the DVDs than meets the eye. Behind this delicious metaphor is a deftly concealed subliminal message which I will reveal through my The Da Colbert Code:

My god, this means that the allegations of Mio being a slut is actually true! I don't want to believe it, but the Da Code is never wrong and take a look a closer look at Mio's orgasmic expression prior to that alleged mishap:

By "tripping over", Mio was in fact actually offering her rice bowl to the audience so that they could feast on her rice by inserting chopsticks into said bowl.

However, Mio is not really the one to blame here. I mean, it is common in the Asian culture that you have some meat in your rice. There's also the fact that it was Kyoto Animation that ultimately debauched this otherwise HNNNGH-inducingly adorable moment of its manga counterpart. Kyoto Animation, you are a disgrace among Japanese animation studios, and until you get your act together, I'm putting you On Notice:

PIG DISGUSTING OPP- Oh screw this. Why do you torment me so, Kyoto Animation? In just within a single episode, you've negated all that defines me as an anime otaku, including my oath to never love females with anything bigger than delicious flat chests. After this episode, I became so conflicted that I am unable to confidently proclaim myself as one of the true zealots of delicious flat chests.  Do I betray my beliefs and continue loving Mio unconditionally and embrace that one flaw, or do I remain true to my ideals and be bound forever to my preferences. Why Mio? Why must you possess above average sized breasts that needlessly go ボイン ボイン, for every bounce of your mammaries translates into a stab into my heart

Show ▼

Feels bad man. I hate to admit it, but I guess I have no choice but to go against my own word; I will love Mio unconditonally, accepting whatever (physical) flaws she may have

I've always been a fan of the whole genderbending concept, since among other things, it makes being gay for certain characters acceptable... K-ON! is the latest Kyoto Animation offering to go through this treatment, though whether or not its popularity will ever reach the feverish heights that Suzumiya Haruhi attained remains to be seen. I'm not particularly hopeful myself, but here is my 2 cents anyway:

Personality Transition

Seitenkan worked so terrifyingly well because you could just copy paste any of the character's personality onto his or her gender reversed counterpart and the transition would still be natural. However, if you were to run through the same basic idea on K-ON!, the results would be less than stellar:

Tainaka Riku

I don't like his female counterpart a whole lot, but I'm all for Male Ritsu, and it works, if only because the former's pretty a much a tomboy as it is, not to mention (the fanart's) his striking resemblance to Haruki. As such, Riku would suit the role of male lead more than his female counterpart could ever hope to achieve. I can't imagine him playing anything other than drums either.

Akiyama Mikio

I hope if that if the Pixiv Elves are going to come up with more K-ON! genderbended art, they would come with something more appealing because goddamnit, Mikio just became my least favorite character. Now, if Mio was simply just a coodere that she was meant to be, the transition would have been somewhat acceptable, but alas, if we were to take into account her random ℳℴℯ❤ moments, Mikio's going to be perceived as more of an effeminate character, but I suppose he can still retain that some of that level-headed stoic nature. That said,  I see Mikio more of an oboe person. Hello Kuroki-kun~

Kotobuki Tsumuji

I like how the artist retained Tsumugi's elegantfabulous,  posh look, but is it me, or does Tsumuji look kinda, I don't know, British? Just like Ritsu herself, Tsumugi's male counterpart should work fine with most of his traits intact, right down to his yaoi goggles that I was told Tsumugi possessed. However, because of the way he's drawn, I cannot unimagine him without an east end cockney accent. He'd do fine with pianos, but giving him the violin wouldn't be all too shabby either, now that I think of it...

Hirasawa Yuu

I'm mostly ambivalent towards Yui because her irksome airhead character, yet I find myself hooked to her Untan Untan videos orz No thanks to Hetalia, I can only imagine Yuu as Italy. Go figure. GUITAAAAAAA~ ヽ(´∀｀ )ﾉ

In short, I would

• Suck Riku's cock and have him stick his into me
• Stick it in Mikio
• Stick it in Tsumuji
• Stick it in Yuu

So far, so likeable!

Screenplay Revision

Usually, this is the part I would post 4komas to sell the idea on how the jokes would still work if the cast had undergone their respective sex change, though unfortunately, the Elevens have yet to produce anything of that sort, so for the time being, I think I'll have a go at some of the scenes instead:

The impetus, if you'd like, that led to the formation of the club. And to be honest, this scene would work a lot better if they were both guys, where Riku reminds Mikio of the (non-existent) promise they both made after attending a live(insert famous rock band here) concert, albeit with a lot more manly tears, with perhaps Riku treating Mikio to a knuckle sandwich. MIKIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Damn you, Sengoku Basara.

The band will still have to suck and play elevator music, so you can also count on Riku being really enthusiastic about showing Yuu what the club can do(or can't), only to have the latter reply in a frank manner on how crappy the music was. Also, this would work better in someone's garage than in a classroom. Then again, this is Japan, they can't afford one. Now, if K-ON! was brought to America instead.... Funny, I suddenly envisioned Miley Cyrus starring in a live action Disney adaptation of K-ON! but let's leave it at that.

Tsumuji McRichboy is still going to get Yuu his Gibson Les Paul at a discount, but for the benefit of fangirls, he's going to accomplish it by turning on the charms on the now female cashier, instead of merely working his heritage as an advantage.

Once again, a freebie for the fangirls. Male watchers other than myself, would probably squirm at this scene, while its intended target audience will be squealing and schlicking away. Imagine, Italy's face going "Mikio-kun, your fingers are so rough, but kind of squishy too" Puni Puni Puni Puni Puni Puni ヽ(´∀｀ )ﾉ Mikio will then put on a Germany face and go ('～`；)

There's not much to revise here, and everyone will act accordingly to their given archetypes. Riku's going to be lying on the bed reading Yuu's manga collection, with Mikio sounding the former off for making such a racket. Yuu will struggle with revision while Tsumuji encourages him with promise of rich people snacks like Darjeeling tea and scones or something.

Can't do much without them 4komas! With the series only three episodes in, it will be interesting to see if it is possible for genderbend to plague it further than what I've attempted so far. That said, it seem all I've done was Hetaliarized the whole show, turning the best character into my least favorite one, while making the show accessible to YFGs. Sigh.

Verdict: K-ON! cannot be genderbent. This leaves them the only option of Disney-fying it:

THIS SUMMER
FOUR GIRLS
WITH DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS
GET TOGETHER
TO FORM A BAND
STARRING
AMANDA BYNES
VANESSA HUDGENS
MILEY CYRUS AND
LINDSAY LOHAN