The LOLWUT Of Suzumiya Haruhi
Posted by: Shin in The Melancholy Of Suzumiya Haruhi, tags: Otaku, Rants
What if…the main cast from The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi swapped genders? Would the show retain its charm and become much better? The thought of it alone is an interesting prospect, so much so that fans have been concocting their own designs on how everyone from the show would look:

Haruhi aka Haruki
Retaining all the characteristics that made the female version so popular, Haruki would be hot blooded male lead that animes these days seem to lack. Most likely to go around randomly chasing skirts and somewhat well-liked by girls at school as well for his devil may care attitude, Haruki would most likely hold a special place in his heart for Kyon-ko, who is, naturally, immune to his advances. Would be occasionally doing stupid stuff that gets him into trouble, but pull through with a GAR solution that saves the day.
Kyon
Although I can’t think of a suitable alternate name, imagining Kyon as a female isn’t too difficult. The person with the most similar characteristic that I can think of would be Haruhi from Ouran Host Club. Serving as Tsukkomi to Kyon’s boke, Kyon-ko would undoubtedly share the nonchalant attitude as her male counterpart, with the trademark monologue to boot. A low-key character only to have attracted the attention of Haruhi-kun, Kyon-ko’s appeal would most likely be due to her tsundere nature, and thus has to be flat-chested.

Yuki aka Yuuki
The male version of this archetype would most likely embody the characteristics of glasses type males such as Ishida from Bleach and Kyoya from again, Ouran. Yuuki-kun will of course be highly intelligent and show little or no emotion, much like the aforementioned characters, making him a guaranteed hit among fangirls.
Mikuru aka Mitsuuru
I love the female version, and I can imagine being gay for the male version as well. Asahina-san will be the token effiminate pretty boy, shota type character that makes him endearing to both girls and guys. And yes, despite being male, Asahina-san still manages to get molested by Haruki(more on this later)

Itsuki aka Itsuko
In my opinion the best character in this warped and twisted gender-bending dimension, Itsuko. Just imagine, a flirtatious and ever grinning honors student who has always something up her sleeves as she observes Haruhi-kun as per her duty as an esper. Of course, the main attraction would be seeing Itsuko perform subtle acts of lesbianism towards Kyon-ko, using her charm and larger busts(lawl) to turn the latter gay and submit to her will.
Let’s take this one step further and assume Kyoto Animation decided to take on this project. The most important thing that comes into mind would of course the be seiyuu lineup. Now, I’m not very good at matching the voice actors to the most suitable roles, so I’ll just pick favorites and whoever that comes into mind.
Haruhi-kun voiced by Tetsuya Kakihara
The only choice. If Haruhi-kun’s going to be a hot blooded teenager, there’s nobody better to do it than Simon himself. Possessing that boyish vocals befitting that of an adolescent, I think Tetsuya-san can perform the role with perfection, switching from carefree delinquent to GARuhi(lawl) at will.
Kyon-ko voiced by Nana Mizuki
I was initially going to pick Maaya Sakamoto for the role, but I didn’t want this to be Ouran 2.0 and she wasn’t seem to fit the tsundere role much. Although it’s no secret that I adore Nana-chan and taking into account her role as Touma from Minami-ke, I think she can pull off the tomboyish role with relative ease, and switch the her more moe tone of voice when the need arises. Also, this is a good excuse for her to sing the OP theme. Hehe.
Yuuki voiced by Hiroshi Kamiya
This man was born to play bespectacled characters! I first took notice of this seiyuu while watching Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei was impressed as he did the role of a callous, self centered and ignorant Itoshiki Nozumu flawlessly. Kicking up the intelligence level by a dozen notches, Hiroshi-san once again voiced a glasses type male character, this time as the cold and calculative Tieiria Erde from Gundam 00. No doubt, playing the stoic Yuuki will prove simple to our man, as he slowly opens up and gets closer to Kyon-ko.
Mitsuuru voiced by Shiraishi Ryoko
If you’re going to need an effeminate male’s voice, who better to do it than the pro herself? Well known for her role as Ayasaki Hayate from Hayate no Gotoku, the task of playing demure and soft spoken young man that is always at the brunt of crossdressing jokes by a superior character should be no hassle for this seiyuu. Yeah, I can already imagine Haruki forcing Mitsuuru into wearing various costumes that would make Kyon-ko excited and blush at the same time. Lawl.
Itsuko voiced by Masumi Asano
This was a difficult choice, but in the end, I decided to go for Masumi-san simply because her role as Mariya Mikado from Otome wa Boku ni Koishiteru is still fresh in mind. I say this simply because of her flirtatious tendencies towards Mizuho, who you didn’t know any better was male, making her fit as a character who’s often full of energy and at the same time fulfilling the requirements for the yuri role. [EDIT]Wolfx also suggested Miki Ito of Shuffle’s Asa-senpai fame, which would also be a competent choice, considering her personality as a playful yet seductive character.
Although not mentioned, I would really love Marina Inoue to do female version for Tanaguchi. A self admitted dojikko, imagine her reaction when she stumbles on Haruki and Kyon-ko going it on. Imagine Kana going all Wa-wa-wasuremono..
Before I end this post, here are 4koma samples from the fan site which inspired me to write up this bullshit in the first place, which has been translated my good pal Hoshi-kun. Take note that coherence takes priority over accuracy while these were done, so do pardon the mistakes and changes done to them.
The artist is still updating with these, so maybe I’ll have Hoshi-kun translate them as they get released and post it here lawl. Till then, Shin out.









Mini on 
February 29th, 2008 at 3:45 am
This fan project must expand further and further until KyoAni can no longer ignore us.
February 29th, 2008 at 4:06 am
LOLZ! I want an anime version of that!
February 29th, 2008 at 4:16 am
Brilliance in a can.
February 29th, 2008 at 4:30 am
LOL that last part with the comics was golden. 8D
February 29th, 2008 at 5:37 am
This is so very weird and disturbing.
But I still want to see it.
February 29th, 2008 at 5:41 am
This looks like the greatest masterpiece ever created by man. DO WANT.
February 29th, 2008 at 6:06 am
I so want to see this NOW.
February 29th, 2008 at 6:10 am
So damn weird it could work
February 29th, 2008 at 6:14 am
This looks delightful. I want more…
February 29th, 2008 at 6:17 am
I have a sudden urge to give someone money for this.
Too bad I’m broke though.
February 29th, 2008 at 8:01 am
AHAHA I want this to be made sorta :[
February 29th, 2008 at 8:30 am
male haruhi groping male mikuru = so wrong!
February 29th, 2008 at 9:59 am
teh hell? kyon x itsuki yuri…. urgh… /swt
February 29th, 2008 at 10:06 am
Yay….well who knows. Haruhi can always remake an alternate universe like this.
The crotchgrab is hilarious!
February 29th, 2008 at 11:06 am
I think this would be great but only because we already saw the original, if this were the original version it would probably just be crazy.
February 29th, 2008 at 11:32 am
I actually find Tetsuya Kakihara a terrible choice for GARuhi…
Given his character in the 4komas, I’d suggest Katsuyuki Konishi (Kamina).
February 29th, 2008 at 11:58 am
@Kaisos
Erk, wolfx said the same thing to me -.-;
Actually I did consider him but I seem to like Simon better. Oh well.
February 29th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
OH. GOD. YES.
February 29th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Genderswapped Haruhi characters: Old
Someone making a fancomic of them: Win
February 29th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
I vote Asa-sempai’s seiyuu for Itsuko.
February 29th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
I came… *blush*
February 29th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Frightened and amazed.
February 29th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
This would be an awesome anime. DO WANT. *_*
February 29th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
that’s friggin hilarious!! LOLZ!!!!!!
February 29th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
LOLZZZZZ love it.
“Itsuko perform subtle acts of lesbianism towards Kyon-ko, using her charm and larger busts(lawl) to turn the latter gay and submit to her will.”
I ROFLED. cant wait for it to happen.^^
February 29th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Haruki wearing a headband like-thingy in the 4koma is kinda wrong imo..
the rest of the parody seems so right.. somehow.. =)
March 1st, 2008 at 12:14 am
Tomokazu Seki for GARuhi pls.
His name is synonymous with GAR.
March 1st, 2008 at 2:23 am
If this were to become real, I bet even my friends would roll on the floor ROFLMAO-ing to death. D:
Yay for crossgenders? LOL.
March 1st, 2008 at 3:33 am
I can hear many potential GAR voices emanating from Haruki’s manly vocal chords. Many options are open to us.
But I stand by Shin’s original decision, especially when considering Simon’s GARlock voice and mannerisms. I’d love for Haruki to say:
“WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM?!”
Then the god powers (or maybe just the powers of GAR) emerge, and the universe is thrown into chaos, leaving Kyon-ko to figure out how to clean up the mess of destruction left behind.
March 1st, 2008 at 3:37 am
Holy crap, I just realized that I just described the Spiral Nemesis.
March 1st, 2008 at 3:39 am
Holy crap again, I remember that Haruhi was described by Yuki initially as the potential for auto-evolution. Itsuki’s Armageddon is the Spiral Nemesis! These two shows are way more compatible than I thought.
Sorry for the triple post.
March 1st, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Am I the only one who wants kyon to be male?
March 1st, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Probably. Kyon’s ponytail is moe.
March 2nd, 2008 at 9:34 am
Now I know what its all about ^^;
http://www.dannychoo.com/detail/mac/eng/image/1399/Boys+Haruhi.html
March 2nd, 2008 at 9:57 am
@Danny
Forgot to include that character album covers as I got them as part of this set as well xD
March 2nd, 2008 at 11:22 am
I also want to see this animated!! ^^
March 2nd, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Man, this is too amusing. The original show seems boring and plain after seeing this.
Would love to see this fan project to fruition.
March 2nd, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Whoo! Good coverage, my man. xD Very well explained
March 2nd, 2008 at 5:23 pm
me want
March 2nd, 2008 at 5:28 pm
PURE WIN AND GOLD!!
a must to be made to anime. LOLZ
March 3rd, 2008 at 6:00 am
‘Sup everyone. Just wanna point out our new dedicated discussion thread over at AnimeSuki.
http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=63152
March 3rd, 2008 at 5:52 pm
[…] respectively.) Tsuruyko definitely gets some super cool points from me, though. More on this at Atarashii Prelude. Credit for splash pic goes to Danny […]
March 3rd, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Kyonko…
One my fave girl type…
March 4th, 2008 at 4:51 am
It’s wrong in so many ways. Yet, it also look right………
March 4th, 2008 at 6:40 am
Kyonko is moe to the point that it’s a bit scary.
March 4th, 2008 at 7:38 am
[…] you’re a Haruhiist, and you desperately want to see this genderswapping gem animated (though it has already mutated into clipshow […]
March 6th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
AWESOMENESS! I HAVE to this made into an OVA or something! Think about it, Haruhi would wonder jsut what it would be like if everything were reversed and poof! We have a tear in space and jsut like ep5 (maybe 6) we have a new world with these peoples! XD It would ROCK!!!
March 9th, 2008 at 12:30 am
Holy shit. I don’t read blogs OR blog anymore, but after seeing this at IKnight’s site … holy shit.
Michael’s last blog post..Carpe diem
March 9th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Holy crap, that is one awesome stuff. I do so totally agree with Luinta statement. Hurry up Haruhi and make this happen XD.
lanie-emon’s last blog post..Hisa-chan kawaii ^^…
March 10th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Itou Shizuka for Itsuki. xD
March 11th, 2008 at 2:33 am
Am I the only one who think this is horrible and offending? (except for Kyonko which is moe)
Now it will never be unseen. Every time someone will try to mention the original Haruhi, he will be trolled with this, and people will start saying idiotic things like “The old Haruhi is shit, this is better cuz it’s GAR & win”.
This is a horrible. Everything seems to go into an idiotic “GAR rulz, moe is lame” state lately.
It makes me cry. no kidding. ;_;
March 11th, 2008 at 2:41 am
Apparently this is how the world goes round…. but i guess you have my vote… i don’t find it offending though… just rather “weird”. prefer everything the same cept where kyon -> kyonko!
March 12th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
[…] Haruhi no Yûutsu et les réinterprètent, de manière parfois hilarante. Exemple ci-dessous, plus de 4komas sur Atarashii Prelude, et le site de l’auteur […]
March 22nd, 2008 at 9:37 am
wtf??? WHY DIDN’T I SEE THIS EARLIER!!?! XDDDD
Just love it. Totally Love it. *prepares a trackback*
heeheehee ^^V
ALex Crosse’s last blog post..Blog Site Update
March 22nd, 2008 at 10:03 am
[…] heard from various blogs such as Atalude and Animachronism that a lot of Haruhiists are vouching for this. Well, I couldn’t blame […]
June 4th, 2008 at 9:51 am
[…] Note: Take a look at Shin’s blog post “The LOLWUT of Suzumiya Haruhi” for some male Haruhi {Haruki} and Kyonko goodness and for some info on the gender bending of […]
June 4th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
cool
June 23rd, 2008 at 1:55 am
Lol.. The manga strip is priceless!
June 25th, 2008 at 4:13 am
DO WANT.
Although I kinda doubt KyoAni would ever even do this as a series. Maybe as an OVA or some bonus gag thing. But I think that would be enough….
July 20th, 2008 at 5:13 am
You have my full support