My Black Cat Can’t Be This Sex

Posted by Shin

Recent scientific and medical studies have shown that listening to the voice of Kana Hanazawa in animated cartoon shows from Japan otherwise known as “anime”, causes an increase in heart complications among male adolescents and young adults. There have been reports of cases among a small number of females as well.

The cause of these complications has been traced to a mysterious energy emitted from the vocal chords of Kana Hanazawa, to which researchers have labeled ℳℴℯ❤. ℳℴℯ❤ causes spasms and high blood pressure on initial contact, and prolonged exposure leads to health complications which can be fatal. Medical experts noted that the symptoms of the complications that arise include acute nose bleeding, perpetuating grunts, chest muscle contractions, nutbladder inflammation, involuntary ejaculation, and even cardiac arrest.

There is currently no treatment to this affliction, and the public has been adviced to stay away from the vocal range radius of Kana Hanazawa until further notice.

Source: Otaku Health

Dear God,

Thank you for this blessed life. I thank you for all that you have given me, and I sincerely apologise that the heart you have bestowed upon me would give out to such a mortal temptation. The sight of Kuroneko in a fully decked maid outfit with cat ears and complementing tail going “Nii-san~” was far too fearsome for me to overcome, and so I give back to you what I have, for I finally succumbed to death by ℳℴℯ❤ Thank you for your gift, and may the next one who uses this body live a healthy life, safe from the nutbladder mutilating voice of Kana Hanazawa.

P.S To the Kirinofags who think her character has been redeemed after that short lapse of dere

>implying Kirino isn't still Queenbitch of Bitchland, spawned by the twelve Grand Bitch Wizards atop Mount Bitch while the bitch planets were aligned during the Festival of the Bitch in the New Bitch Year.

I see through the producer's hymen-thin lies in order to improve her standings with viewers before the inevitable anime-only ending next week. Your pathetic attempts will not sway my hatred for your denial of Kuroneko's much deserved True End. Curse you, AIC